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Tuesday, January 30, 2024

Forty-Eight Mental Breaks for Caregivers

Wow, I really like this list in today's Caregiver.com newsletter. Forty-Eight Mental Breaks for Caregivers. I might add For Any Stressful Time of Life. And also, really let your mind and heart go to those places. For Number 17, the beach, for example, don't just think about a beach. Feel warm sand under your toes, cool foam sloshing over your toes, sunshine soothing your eyelids. Remember your giddy joy to find the tide line littered with starfish or a whole sand dollar or conch. Think about how fun it was to peer inside a fisherman's bucket and chat about the day's catch. Any sand castles in your memories? Dolphin sightings? Take a little time to revel in each mental break.

Number 7, taking a drive on a pretty road ... I'd almost forgotten the drive through Big Sur forty-plus years ago. I don't think often enough about the jaw-dropping colorama in the Adirondacks on a more recent drive. But if I sit with these memories for a bit, details will come to mind and refresh me.

I encourage you to check out all 48 here. Try a few, especially if your caregiving situation is such that you can't take nearly enough actual physical breaks. These mental break ideas are winners.


Monday, January 1, 2024

Legal Tips for the New Year

 "Legal Tips for the New Year" by Jonathan Chochor, JD, does contain helpful legal tips for caregivers, but more than that, the article tells a few ways you can be a more effective medical advocate.

Researching a physician's professional background for disciplinary actions is a tip I don't often see. A more common tip, keeping a log of symptoms, diagnoses, and medications is extremely important. Take the log to doctor visits.

I wish I had bought a notebook to dedicate for this purpose. Instead, I used note papers, which, I can testify, get lost easily. I might add that as medications add up, you'd be wise to jot each drug's possible side effects in your notebook and inquire of the doctor if you note new symptoms you suspect might be side effects. In my experience, doctors were pretty good at monitoring this themselves, but it doesn't hurt to ask. Ultimately, you need to make the best decision for your loved one, and that means understanding risks and benefits of the drugs.

To read Chochor's article in Caregiver.com, click on "Legal Tips for the New Year."

Sunday, December 31, 2023

Dementia & Driving

 Here's a comprehensive resource for you if your loved one is at any stage of dementia and is still driving.

Here is a link to Dementia & Driving, provided by Warner Law Offices.

This guide gives suggested ways to approach the dreaded taking-away-the-carkey conversation, ideas to give your loved one some level of transportation independence, and how to cope with the emotions of this change.

Friday, December 29, 2023

How to Keep Your Loved Ones Independent

Tena L. Scallan has some great suggestions for "How to Keep Your Loved Ones Independent" in Caregiver.com, the free newsletter for Today's Caregiver magazine. 

Two of her suggestions resonate most with me. One is understanding that changes in your loved one's physical abilities will most likely be accompanied by emotions. Whether it's a temporary setback, like post-surgery rehab, or permanent decline, your loved one may well exhibit symptoms of depression. None of us likes to face the new reality of lost independence and increased dependence. I would learn what you can about the grief process, because your loved one is experiencing a loss, and so are you as you newly set aside a part of your own life to care for someone's new need.

The other one of Scallan's suggestions that I feel compelled to stress is paying attention to your loved one's dietary habits. This can be challenging, especially if Dad's only pleasure these days is a chocolate frosted donut with his morning coffee. But I encourage you to find a reliable source of information about dietary needs in the elderly, or in whatever other people group your loved one falls in (for example, people with MS or Alzheimer's or diabetes). I might offer the Mayo Clinic or Cleveland Clinic as reliable sources of health info, but you can find others as well. Zero in on fiber and fluids, as Scallan mentions. And try to limit your gifts of sugary treats.

To read Tena Scallan's other practical tips for keeping your loved one independent, click here.

Friday, November 17, 2023

Ten Commandments for Caregiving

Mimi Pockross in this week's Caregiver.com newsletter nails it in her article, "Ten Commandments for Caregiving." Read it here.

As I read her ten commandments, I kept nodding. At some points I nodded out of exhaustion. Oh my goodness, caregiving takes so much out of a person! At other points I nodded out of agreement with the wisdom of her points. But bottom line: Decide up-front to spend the time doing what she recommends and you will save yourself a lot of exhaustion time. 

Commandment Number Five is Educate Yourself. Number Eight is Do Your Homework. So many resources exist now that did not exist when I began my caregiving journey. I am forever grateful that I read the books I did, because that knowledge was invaluable in arranging for what Mom and Dad needed. Homework time spent paid off. You'd be amazed (and distressed) to learn how many hospital personnel do not have disease-specific training. They are well-trained in keeping your loved one alive, but don't count on them to know specifics about how not to traumatize a person with Alzheimer's, for example. You WILL find yourself in the position of training them. So, be prepared.

Commandment Number Six, Learn Every Bureaucracy, also resonated with me. Invariably, you will need to know what hospital nurses can and can't do. Who supervises them, in case you need to speak with that person? Who is this hospital's patient ombudsman? And of course, since your mom's meds are managed by the nursing facility's nurse manager, you assume if you need to give a list of her medications to someone, you'd go through the nurse manager. Nope. Medical Records does that. I wasted three months barking up the wrong tree because I didn't know this. In addition, learn what constitutes elder abuse and how to report it. If you hire in-home help, know the supervisor!

All Ten Commandments for Caregiving in this article are worth a look. Thank you, Mimi Pockross!


Saturday, July 8, 2023

The Rear View Mirror

 

Driving Mom and Dad

 

In the rear view mirror I see

one side of Mom’s mouth droop when she talks,

as if half of her is just so tired.

At a rest stop, they change places.

In the rear view mirror I see

Dad’s hollow sockets stare straight,

as if he’s seen too much world go by.

Soon they will want to rest again,

And I will need to let them.

 

© 2006 Jane Hoppe

Thursday, April 13, 2023

How to Be a Healthcare Advocate for Yourself and Loved Ones

 Every Monday my newspaper features a column by Teri Dreher, who is a nurse, and a patient advocate and owner of a patient advocacy company. To help readers make the healthiest choices, she tackles everyday topics like questions to ask before agreeing to surgery, as well as awareness of hurtful behaviors. I find her columns very practical for caregivers, so I was delighted to learn that Dreher has written a book, How to Be a Healthcare Advocate for Yourself and Loved Ones, available on Amazon.

Here is the description on Amazon:

How to Be a Healthcare Advocate for Yourself and Loved Ones provides crucial, potentially lifesaving advice for those trying to navigate modern healthcare and secure the best medical treatment for themselves and the people around them. Author Teri Dreher, a nationally recognized professional patient advocate, draws on decades of experience as a critical care nurse to give readers an insider’s view of the healthcare landscape. What are the 10 dos and don’ts for getting more out of doctors’ appointments? What seven questions should you ask before any surgery? How many prescriptions are too many? What are the eight top habits of savvy healthcare consumers? Dreher answers these important questions and many, many more with practical answers to help readers and their loved ones live longer, healthier lives—while avoiding common pitfalls.
 
You can go to Teri Dreher's Amazon page here